POLKA

“Becky! Becky!” whispered the wind. She had this odd sixth sense somehow. Things were all the while whispering to her. 

“Cucumber sandwiches!” whispered her left slipper.

“No, Becky! You must play a quick one-two before you attempt to score!” the curtains exhaled breathlessly.

It wasn’t ideal, in her career as a first-class airline pilot, it must be said.

“Becky,” said her co-pilot Carol. “Do you mind if I open the curtains? I can’t see the runway.”

“Enough!” said Becky. “It is time.”

With that, she walked back into the broom cupboard. “Ouch,” she said, as a coat hanger poked her in the left nostril.

“Come back!” screamed Carol. “I can’t land the plane on my own!” But while Becky bumped around in the broom cupboard, Carol took a quick peek behind the curtains. Zurich airport was coming up fast.

“Oi!” said Becky, emerging from the broom cupboard in an oversized mink coat. “What did I tell you? No peeking!”

At that moment, a pig strolled in on its hind trotters, nudged Carol to the side, and calmly landed the plane at Zurich airport.

“Thank you Geraldine,” said Becky. Carol’s face was white with fear, she turned and looked at Becky. 

“All planes have an emergency landing pig these days. Oh, and by the way, I’ve booked Geraldine to sing ‘My Way’ at your 34th birthday party.”

“But I’m 43,” said Carol.

“Cucumber sandwiches,” insisted Becky’s left slipper.

“Yes, all right, all right! Cucumber sandwiches,” Becky replied, dismayed.

Carol looked at her, bemused, for she could not hear what Becky could hear.

Becky turned to Carol. “Long story,” she said. “The pig screwed up big time once, and we all died in the crash, so we had to use the time machine.”

“The time machine,” said Carol, sardonically. “How did you get to that if you all d…”

“Shhhh!” said Becky. “Don’t let the death pixies hear you! We’ll be in deep trouble!”

Later, at Carol’s 34th birthday party, Geraldine sang ‘Happy Birthday’, accompanied by the death pixies and Becky’s left slipper.

“I vaguely remember this,” said 43 year old Carol as she watched 34 year old Carol dancing  a polka.