Why is the letter 'X' worth 8 points in Scrabble? It's such a common letter in the language of the tree people. If I had my way, which, to be fair, I often do, as Chief Commander Of the Branch branch, there would only be one 'X', and that would only be available in the children's version. I would also confiscate the little dog and the top hat from Monopoly, as these things are forbidden in the Elm Forest.
But enough of such frivolities, let us get down to the serious stuff. The game of Snap! must be stamped out IMMEDIATELY! For two things the same are not allowed. I myself will self combust once arrangements have been made to rid the world of such hideous monstrosity. I am willing to be the sacrificial leprechaun of love. I think it's only fair.
The other forest dwellers begged me not to, of course. Sam Squirrel, Naomi Gnome and all the little rectangular things, but I would hear no reason. "NO!", I said, and I pointed out that they all had the bi-annual nativity play to concentrate on, to put their minds at ease.
Where once I stood, there now stands a wobbly larch, sole testament to my sacrifice. On summer nights, the queen of the fairies stands bow legged over an effigy of my oaken frame, and sings like a banshee until the demons have all been exorcised. The little rectangular things, dressed in their drab motley, play a sad game of Snap where all the cards are different.
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